Last Christmas, my son wrote a letter to Santa. He told Santa how he has been a good boy, doing all his home-work, brushing his teeth, taking a shower, going to bed early and doing everything good kids should be doing. In his letter, he asked for a Guitar, amongst many other things. Of course it was a long list because kids think their parents are money making machines. Well, now he has a guitar and he’s learning to play it. Every now and then, I’ll ask him to try and play a song without looking at the music notes. Some songs he plays by heart and some others he is unable to play without looking at the Notes. Sometimes, he would still miss a note or two even when he’s looking at the music notes. When that happens, he would try again and try again. He would makes a sigh out of frustration but he would keep going at it. He’s always been this way, from a baby trying to stack his toys right, to a toddler trying to fit his Paw Patrol puzzles. He wouldn’t stop until he gets it right. From his actions, I knew he understood that he could miss a note and it was okay to try again. But I asked him nonetheless to complete this sentence, “Practice makes……” and he responded, Practice makes better? Yes, practice makes better. So every time he is practicing his guitar playing skills, I ask him, Practice makes? Practice makes Better, he would say.
This wasn’t the case for me growing up in an African culture. I was taught, Practice makes Perfect. It was normalised and ingrained in me. Everything I did, I tried to aim for perfection. Like, I wanted to get all As at school. Well, I got some As and a few other alphabets. Need I say that I was very unhappy about that? Anyway, it wasn’t just school stuff, it was also life defining moments where I stumbled, took wrong turns, chose wrongly, moved too quickly or moved too slowly. I was no where close to perfection. I quickly learned that aiming for perfection, was nothing short of continuous frustrations, disappointments and a constant blow to my self-worth and self-confidence. I didn’t need to be told to unlearn that practice makes perfect and to re-learn that Progress was a more practical path to take not perfection. I have learnt many things in my journey towards becoming better but here are a few:
- Mistakes are inevitable but can be valuable if we draw lessons that can be applied in our next steps.
- Mistakes are the reason we learn, not the reason to give up.
- Every mistake is an opportunity to get better
- Aiming for perfection will put your self-worth/Self-confidence in jeopardy
- Success isn’t a destination but a journey
So, after my many mis-step, mis-hap, mis-this, mis-that, I am now content to being a work in progress. Content with being better than I was yesterday. I am making a conscious decision to choose progress over perfection, for it is better to acknowledge areas for growth than to claim perfection.
